Disclaimer
THIS WEBSITE IS NOT INTENDED FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING MEDICAL ADVICE
All information, content, and material of this website is for informational purposes only and are not intended to serve as a substitute for the consultation, diagnosis, and/or medical treatment of a qualified physician or healthcare provider. These are my own personal experience of dealing with workplace harassment.
That moment it happens
There is nothing more uncomfortable then having someone invade your space or your mind. You have to know, this is not your fault. It is not what you are wearing or how you are talking or acting. The harasser is the one who overstepped their boundaries in the workplace.
Not everyone will handle workplace harassment in the same way, some may leave to a quiet place or for some you might confront your harasser on the spot. There is no right way or wrong way of how you react in the moment. Your mind and body will do the talking or the walking. It is how you deal with it after that counts.
I’m by no means a doctor but as someone who has been through it and also an advocate for mental health, I felt the need to open up. I wanted to share with you some insight and also what I had been through. First let’s talk about workplace harassment.
Top Types of harassment
There are so many types of workplace harassment and none of these should ever be in a workplace or in any place for that matter. These are the top forms of workplace harassment.
Sexual harassment
For any woman or man sexual harassment comes in many forms. Comments that are unwelcome, physical touching, sexual favors and even unwanted eyeing. Even after the #metoo movement this is still the most common form of harassment still today.
Racial harassment
Racism exists even though we tend to turn a blind eye to it. Maybe you have that boss that greets everyone in the office, except those of a different race, that is racial harassment. Hearing your peers talk about those of a different race in an ill manner is also unacceptable.
Disability harassment
Not all disabilities are physical. For those who suffer from the many mental disorders this one is often overlooked. Over the last 10 years those who suffer with mental disorders are finally coming forward. Not giving someone a chance due to their anxiety or ADHD or the many others out there is harassment. Everyone deserves an equal chance at proving they are able to complete the job.
What you can do to stop it
Everyone will handle the situation differently as I said before. Workplace harassment is very common but sometimes will go unhandled. Not everyone will speak out as most are afraid to lose their job.
The shear fact that people are still uncomfortable with coming forward shows you we still have a long way to go. However you can do the following.
- Go to your Human Resources department – human resources is there to protect the worker from any type of workplace harassment.
- Go to your boss – now if it is your boss then go to their boss. Reaching out to your boss about a fellow coworker is not easy but it is necessary.
- Talk to a coworker – even if you don’t feel comfortable going to management or H.R. talk to a close friend or coworker.
- Tell the harasser – Sometime just telling the harasser will stop them in their tracks. I would suggest doing it with someone with you.
Also read How to deal with workplace stress
Talk to someone
Maybe you’re not comfortable talking to management or H.R. but you do need to talk about it to someone. This doesn’t need to be someone you work with. It can be a family member, close friend or even a social worker.
The bottom line is you are not alone and you need to talk to someone about your experience. You might be surprised that that person may have also experienced it at some point in their life. They may have a way to help you come forward or to help you get through it.
If you see something say something
The wise old tale “go to work, do your job and go home”, is just that, old. I believe in standing up for others and doing the right thing. Even if you can’t say something to management at least reach out to the person being harassed.
Just being a listening ear is sometimes the best medicine. We all want to say that we would fight for the rights of others but we don’t know unless we are put in the situation. I personally have stood up for people but have a hard time standing up for myself. Some people are great for standing up for themselves but struggle with helping others.
There is no right or wrong way but if you can be there for that person you will be making a world of difference.
Not all heroes wear capes
Standing up to someone with workplace harassment is not easy. However by you telling someone what has happened to you, you may be saving another person from receiving the same harassment.
Being by someone’s side after they have been through this is also another way of saving someone. Being understanding and comforting to a victim of workplace harassment is just as heroic. Just remember we are in this together.
Nothing gets done
There is a chance that you follow all the steps after you have been through workplace harassment and nothing is done about it. What do you do?
There are labor laws outside of your workplace that you can and should reach out to. If you have done everything you can within the company reach out to your provincial or state department. Now depending on where you are from and the laws your country provides this is the next step you would take.
Things to do to help you after
Workplace harassment or any harassment will leave a scar. There are ways you can help your body and mind to get through it. I don’t think anyone truly gets over it, it lingers in your mind over time. However, there are ways to adjust to it and meet it head on.
Talking about it is the first thing you will do. Either when you report it or after. Just talking about what happened is not going to get you through it. Open up, tell someone how it made you feel and how you are feeling now about it.
Yoga or meditation is not for everyone but is a great way to clear your mind. Sometimes you need to understand your thoughts to help sort them out. These are also great for the body. You may not know this but mental stress can take such a toll on the body and both will need healing.
Exercise is another great way to release the tension. Yoga and meditation ease your body but maybe you need a little more adrenalin pumping through your veins. Join a gym or even get involved in some boxing classes.
Spa day is a great way to just sit back and have someone pamper you. Yes this is only a temporary healing but way not give it a try.
Support groups are another way of coping. Why not sit with some people who have gone through the same thing as you. Talking about it truly is the best way to get you day to day. I know it’s not always easy talking to strangers, however it may be easier then talking to friends or family.
My experience and moving forward
We all need to talk about workplace harassment one way or another. As I have said, we all deal with things differently. For my experience, I walked away. I’m not ashamed of how I handled it and it took me months to do anything about it. There is no time slot on how long it takes you to come forward or talk about it.
My harasser asked me to dinner at their place. This person is married and their spouse was away on vacation. Now this mine seem harmless but I assure you it was not. This person who harassed me, after I said no, used their position to move me around my department and into a job they knew I was not able to perform and after months of mistreatment, I gave my notice of resignation. I thought my H.R. department would have asked why I was leaving, since this was a common practice, however after speaking to my harasser they asked me to leave immediately. I wanted to tell them about my experience with workplace harassment but unfortunately was not able to.
When I got home I reached out to the owner of the company. I wrote them an email explaining what had happened while I was working and why I was departing the company. Unfortunately, nothing was done and that person is still working for them. I’m not mad, I guess maybe a little disappointed.
The only thing I could do was tell some of the people I worked with what to watch out for, not only themselves, but for others. I was not shocked to hear I was not the only one, just sad that we all stayed silent.
Do I wish more was done about it? Yes. I wish I had said something sooner or maybe confronted this person, but I can’t turn back the hands of time. Now I can move forward and do what I can for those still working there.
I would say my personality is outgoing and I tend to say what is on my mind. I wasn’t able to say anything at that time. You will handle the situation how it feels right for you. I wrote this so you knew you weren’t alone and that there are so many others going through the same thing as you.
I’m writing this to hopefully be able to reach someone, to show them that it’s not ok with what happened to you but that you’re not alone. To tell you there is no right or wrong way in how you deal with it. To keep you head up and move forward. I hope that your outcome is different than mine. I hope that person loses their role, but most of all I hope the harasser understands for the future that it’s not ok and that they need to be respectful to everyone.
Now it’s your time to heal.
